LOCKED: people are getting too heated over a silly meme
go to s/parenting if you want to have a serious conversation about parenting
If he isn’t saying “You can have your phone back when you empty the dishes” over and over again, it’s a grand dad fail.
“Maybe you’ll find your phone after emptying the dishwasher” :D
My parents used to pull shit like this when I was growing up. All I learned from it was that they are horrible people.
And now you’re 17 and your own man?
With my own apartment, bills and therapist too!
They were horrible people because you were a lazy fuck that didn’t do what you were asked to?
Nope, it’s because they used “I will steal your stuff, violate your trust, manipulate you, and lie to you” to try to “teach a lesson”.
You don’t own anything as a kid. Pay your own phone bill and you can call it yours
Any excuses for the other 3 things in that list?
Three things? He told her to do the dishes then took her phone when she didn’t. That’s exactly one thing.
I listed 4 things. “I will steal your stuff, violate your trust, manipulate you, and lie to you”. You only addressed “steal your stuff”. I’m waiting to see how you to excuse the other 3.
I mean, if that’s how you view it, that’s. you problem. You having the privilege of a phone as a condition of doing your chores isn’t “taking your stuff” or “violating your trust”.
The chores are a condition of the privilege. You not keeping up your end is violating the agreement. Not the other way around.
You sound spoiled.
When a parent gives their child trust, privacy, help, or even a phone, it is an expression of their love, and for it to be healthy it can’t be transactional.
A child’s clothes are THEIR clothes. A parent guides, helps, and is in charge of it, but it BELONGS to the child. Same goes for ALL their posessions.
Daaamn, that was one hell of a leap.
Stop normalizing abuse.
Making kids do chores and contribute to the household isn’t abuse you pussy
Asking them isn’t abuse. Making them is. Stealing their things and causing them distress is.
I’m sorry your parents mistreated you. Stop pretending it’s normal.
My parents were fine, and now I’m a successful adult that can live on my own.
No, making your kid do chores as a condition of the free life they have isn’t abuse. Stop being a pussy
My parents were fine, and now I’m a successful adult that can live on my own.
And you have nothing better to do than defend child abuse?
Out of curiosity, did they hit you? It’s the first thing that comes to mind when you try the “I turned out fine” defense.
No, making your kid do chores as a condition of the free life they have isn’t abuse.
Making them do work for you is abuse. They don’t have a free life. They can’t move out and they’re punished if they don’t follow orders.
Stop being a pussy
Am I cat, or a vagina? I’m fond of both, so I’m unclear on the insult here. Are you a playground bully? Did your parents forget to help you grow up?
Making them do work for you is abuse
For you? It’s for them also. It’s for the family.
“I’m making demands and playing manipulative games with adolescents. WHY WON’T THEY OBEY?”
Enjoy the nursing home, grandpa.
How would you recommend he have proceeded? Lmao
He could try emptying the dishwasher.
Shouldn’t she have some responsibilities? Why not expect her to do her share of the chores in a house in which she lives?
Great questions. I would not ask those questions of, nor accept advice from, authoritarian murder-slaves. Grandpa needs to show some respect for the other people in the house he lives in too.
Cool none of those situations are happening. So by your own words you should be able to answer their questions.
none of those situations are happening.
Nah, there are four lights. Play this stupid game elsewhere.
I get that you don’t like the Marine in the op, but the commenter your responded to hasn’t said they were in the Marines and I assume you aren’t a baby murdering drone. So answer is question. Shouldn’t they be expected to contribute to the chores of their household?
Because that’s an awful way of raising children, especially girls. Unless it’s a life-or-death situation, allow your children to say no. If you want them to help out anyway (and you should, those are skills they’ll need as adults) that’s also really easy to encourage by simply not being an ass about it, ask them instead of commanding them. They’ll probably say yes far more often than they’ll say no.
Literally says “I asked her to do it 4 hours ago.” Emphasis mine.
Part of being an adult is taking responsibility for your household. Saying no is an important thing to learn but so is keeping your house clean. Much better to learn from loving parents than by frustrated roommates or partner.
“Loving” parents who steal your possessions if you don’t obey their commands? Authoritarianism is not love. Children are people, not tools.
Again it was an ask. Pretty normal for kids to say yes and forget. There’s no indication the phone won’t be returned very easily.
This is more prank than whatever abusive nonsense some of yall seem to be envisioning.
And there’s no indication of her response, so I’m assuming it was “no.” And now he’s punishing her for that response, which is sending exactly the wrong message.
We obviously don’t have the full context here. It’s possible that she’s never lifting a finger in which case fair enough (still a bad way to go about it, but you’d need to do something in that case), but with the information the post is giving I’m going side with the child.
More likely she just forgot or didn’t care.
Tell me you don’t have kids, without saying it.
Children did not choose to be born. Children are unfairly exploited by stupid, selfish parents.
All we have is a (probably joke) tweet, but stealing someone’s phone is wrong.
This is hilarious. Asking a kid to do basic household chores like emptying the dishwasher is not exploitation. It’s not like they make them work a real job, and then take all the money.
And nobody’s phone has been stolen, unless that kid bought the phone with their own money, and pay the monthly bill. Otherwise, they don’t own that phone, they use it at the pleasure of the account holder.
Asking a kid to do basic household chores like emptying the dishwasher is not exploitation.
Correct. Asking is fine.
It becomes exploitation when they punish her for declining.
If the child didn’t pay for the phone or the service to use it, they aren’t entitled to it. They are granted use of it by the owner that can be revoked at anytime.
Consequences aren’t child abuse.
Treating one’s children like contractees is the height of shitty parenting.
So is not holding your children to any expectation of responsibility.
Consequences for what? Declining a request?
Or was it an order?
Either way, the consequence is unrelated. It is abusive.
https://childmind.org/article/when-should-you-come-between-a-teenager-and-her-phone/
One of the basic rules of effective discipline is to make any punishment related to the misbehavior. “If your child violates curfew, taking away the phone is completely unrelated to that behavior,” says Dr. Peters. “You’re not connecting with the kid. You are making them feel bad, which you think is helping them learn, but in fact is helping them learn to be sneaky or learn that you are the punisher.”
You’re implying children should not take part in the chores of a household and should not have consequences for not following the rules is a house, Based on the context of this post and your other replies.
lol wut
I’m pretty sure the tweet is comedy not actual parenting advice
Tell that to the people crawling out of the woodwork in this thread to unironically defend it as such.
Lots of salty 14 year olds around here tonight too for some reason.
It’s amazing how the inability to convince someone to do the dishes without authoritarian hammer-dropping brings so many people together!
When they proclaim that they turned out just fine, I think about shit like this
There seem to be several people here who definitely do not have children, who therefore really cannot speak from the lived experiences of parents in their outrage.
Part of a parents responsibility is preparing their child to participate in the real world, on their own. Especially when one’s children reach their teenage years, they need to understand having responsibilities that they need to do in a timely manner. Responsibilities that they do not care for are still responsibilities. That is literally what being an adult is about. They should be given all of the love and affection that a parent can provide, but structure is a must. Losing privileges should be a last resort, after talking to them, explaining why doing things when they need to be done and the consequences of inaction.
How can you prepare your kid to do the tasks at work that they dislike but will inevitably need to do, if you allow them to just say “No, don’t like it. Don’t feel like it.”?
My son will be getting his first job, which will be paying pretty good, considering he is being compensated to learn a trade. We talked about looking at and following a budget, as well as him covering the bills for a couple things we both use (phone and internet). He’s going to have to get used to paying all of his own bills when he eventually leaves the nest, therefore he needs experience with it at home in an safe space. We’re going to work together on these things. Not doing so is doing him a disservice. My parents let me move out as soon as I graduated high school, and I wish they would have made me stay home for at least a little longer. I had zero knowledge when it came to finances and credit.
Responsibilities inside a safe space are absolutely necessary. Letting one’s children just do whatever they want without consequence is terrible parenting.
