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Long at pictures of Anna Kendrik helps.
It’s absurd how attractive she is.
Even more so when she speaks.
eh, kind of horse face
She is beautiful; horses are beautiful
She is one of my favorite icons of dangerously sexy. Like, mantid tier, easily. 😶
I realized how many extra steps I was going through to mask, and that the end product, behavior, was made off wildly wrong assumptions about what people or situations expected of me. And when I realized that, I wanted that fucking time and energy back. I found my own language to describe my own thoughts and feelings and just put that out there. It’s weird and vulnerable at first but my doctor seemed to understand. Meds made space in my brain to learn and unlearn different things. Stimulants helped get through the turmoil of chores. Anti-anxiety made the urge to please quieter. It’s my life, I want to feel good in it, as authentic as possible, as comfortable and natural. I didn’t know the color of my hair, had been dying it for 30 years, that was a nice surprise. Like they said, make the best of this, you should feel good. If something is hard, figure it out so it’s easier from here on forever, think if how good it will feel when the hard thing today is easy. Reduce sugar
That liberating feeling of finally inhabiting your own skin. Very well put.
Adderall, weed, music, a whole lot of time outside, and giving as few fucks as possible.
Medication eases/fixes most of the function-impeding symptoms, which in turn helps with imposter syndrome, etc. The rest is really just self-care.
As another user pointed out, though, I also stopped trying to “mask” at all.
Realize that nobody is “normal” and most people are a lot more fucked up than you realize. Almost every single person you interact with on a daily basis has some kind of bullshit going on that makes their life difficult. Depression, anxiety, addiction, financial problems, relationship problems, health issues, you name it. For the most part, people are far too focused on their own shit to care about anyone else’s.
Oh it’s simple, you keep going because you know you’ll be unable to get back up for months if you stop.
Me when my wife asks if I ate anything today.
I deal with them at home, in private, instead of sleeping.
At night when everyone else goes to sleep; fighting sleep because it’s the only time to relax, but knowing you’ll have a horrible day again tomorrow because you won’t get enough sleep but also be awake for 2 hours after finally laying down in bed trying to not fuck it up again tomorrow?
It’s more like:
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sleep when exhaustion overcomes anxiety
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wake when anxiety overcomes exhaustion
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You guys are coping?
Well…this “neat part” is really ruining my life.
Dude just accept it, accept it that it’s ruining your life, accept that you have ADHD, stop fighting it. Started doing that a few years ago and shit still sucks, but at least I’m not stressed about trying to fix it. Because it’s so fucking tiresome trying to adapt to other people’s expectations, you always crash.
It’s me and my who a I am, embrace the positives with that it gives you, stop trying to compete with people that don’t have it, you fit into a different mold. I would never have the work I have if I didn’t have ADHD, it’s a fucking super power you bafoon
I have come to realise the world is a stage and you decide what role to play. Its all a big improv play. So just go with the flow and dont think too much. Its working quite well
I’m not sure I do cope! What I do know is I don’t think I’ve come across a single ADHD meme that I haven’t seen myself in, but I’ve never been diagnosed lol
I realised that I’m reading this post when I’m supposed to be in a meeting.
Weed, martial arts and making music.
Occasionally shouting at inanimate objects to fuck the fuck off.
The usual, weed, caffeine, nicotine and alcohol.
That feeling that you are a liar who is always lying to yourself and you are both untrustworthy for lying to yourself and gullible for believing yourself. And little things like failing to get the ten competing but complementary and codependent thoughts out of your head in a way that others understand further reinforces the feeling that you are being deceptive even though you are trying really hard to be as complete and thorough and accurate as possible.
Stimulants and a reliable support network do help.
Weed, gym, journal
Not caring. And realizing most people don’t care either.
hi there, RSD (and anxiety because of it) haver here
how do i not care
Step 1: smoke lots of weed
doesn’t work :( i care about people even more then, and my sensitivity gets more sensitive
Becoming able to be OK - like really OK - on my own for days and days without interacting with any other people helped with this one. I didn’t used to like it but now I can’t get enough alone time - though I have children so it’s basically impossible for now.
Anyway at some point I realised I didn’t give a fuck if someone likes me or not because I’m completely happy on my own for extended periods of time, just being me. If someone doesn’t like me it’s their loss… and sometimes to my benefit anyway because who wants to hang out with a flimsy friend? Go deep or go home, I’m happy on my own so whatever!
I have actually fired some former friends when it became apparent we would be better not hanging out. Make sure you aren’t just hanging out with crappy people? They will drag you down.
I definitely wasn’t like this before approaching my 40s (now in my mid 40s) and was highly rejection sensitive and “nice” to everyone at least as far as 37.
Fuck being a people-pleaser!
Another hardcore way to get to this (being OK alone, thus not caring what others think of you, thus getting over much rejection sensitivity) is to go on a vipassana meditation retreat. 10 days silence, no eye contact, no physical contact etc… it’s about as alone as you can be while not actually being alone. It is both tortuous and amazing. It’s also free your first time, food and bed and everything, not a penny. I’ve only been once, might go again one day but not in a hurry. You will experience all of your unresolved bullshit and there’s nothing to do about it except experience it. Anyway… it shifted a lot for me in a comparatively short time. I realised I was just as fucked up and OK as everyone else sat there, for days until it sank in. That’s not even the purpose of it but just a side effect.
I still smoke weed though… not into “enlightenment” haha except to know there’s no such arrival place, just more of the same. “Meditation people” tend to bore me and I don’t trust people without some obvious vice because it often tends to come out as nastiness if they’re not onto it.
Anyway, I’m not at.all who you’d imagine as the kind of person who goes on a meditation retreat but it was a very pivotal experience for me even though I haven’t kept up a regular practice.
I hope you find some relief from RSD, it is an exquisitely painful thing to experience.
yeah i try to approach life that way but sometimes RSD is too fast for me to react. before i’m capable of logicking my way out of rejection - it hits, and the spiral begins, and that feeling of sinking in my chest is a point of no return. the only way to stop it is to go sleep for 8h to “reset”.
even if i know that what i’m feeling is fully irrational, the spiral seems to be inescapable
Sorry to hear that! I remember it well, it feels like death. I don’t completely know why mine stopped but it’s been years now and it hasn’t really got me for ages. I’m still sensitive but I don’t get that “I’m dying” feeling any more. I also used to have to sleep to reset.
I got out of a long relationship (13 years and 3 children!) which had run its course and that also helped - we’re much better as friends and co-parents. I’m a lot more stable overall these days.
Wishing you a way through!
thanks! i’m 25 so i have a life of figuring stuff out ahead of me lol
glad you’ve found some stability in your life, likewise wishing you well!
Depresion.
This is huge
