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CoolerOpposide [none/use name]@hexbear.net to news@hexbear.netEnglish · 3 years ago

Brandon’s dogs are so out of control. I know it’s not “real news” but it’s so funny that they just can’t stop these dogs from attacking secret service agents

hexbear.net

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Brandon’s dogs are so out of control. I know it’s not “real news” but it’s so funny that they just can’t stop these dogs from attacking secret service agents

hexbear.net

CoolerOpposide [none/use name]@hexbear.net to news@hexbear.netEnglish · 3 years ago
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Link to the article no-dogs-no-masters

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  • Runcible [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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    3 years ago

    The best joke I’ve seen about this so far “there’s literally one dog on earth the cops aren’t allowed to shoot and it’s rightfully taking full advantage of its position”

    https://twitter.com/KrangTNelson/status/1706795679429918867

    • CoolerOpposide [none/use name]@hexbear.netOP
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      3 years ago

      gold-communist

    • Evilsandwichman [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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      3 years ago

      Came here to make a similar joke but you beat me to it.

      I will add though the queen’s corgis (if they’re still alive) are probably also the other dogs cops aren’t allowed to shoot (but the crew of the Bebop might eat them apparently if they’re hungry enough).

      • SoyViking [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        Following ancient angloid religious practice, the queen’s corgis were ceremoniously killed and interred with the deceased monarch to guide her in the afterlife.

  • Frank [he/him, he/him]@hexbear.net
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    3 years ago

    This is so satisfying. I severely judge people based on the behavior of their dogs. If you’re dog is badly behaved you’re a bad person, simple as. If your dog bites someone (without orders) you’re dirt.

    Biden can’t keep two consecutive fucking dogs from biting everyone in the fucking house. It’s just so satisfying because it confirms everything I believe about him.

    Also lol ACAB rat-salute Major and Commander

    • Adkml [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      Great example of lib curtain dressing.

      Trump famously really dislikes dogs which everybody thought was weird so ol Joe’s like “away shucks well get some heck in doggone back in the white house” then proceeded to completely ignore them and now they’re practically feral

      • SacredExcrement [any, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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        I honestly forgot about the Trump bit.

        That makes this so much fuckin’ funnier.

        biden-the-thing “I’m gonna get dogs back in the White House Jack, not like that unamerican slob Trump”

        maybe-later-kiddo “See the president is great and normal again!”

        no-dogs-no-masters “secret service taste good”

      • DefinitelyNotAPhone [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        3 years ago

        Just get a fucking cat, they’ll just knock things off of balconies onto visitaries’ heads.

        • SoyViking [he/him]@hexbear.net
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          3 years ago

          Outdoor cat struggle session: West Wing edition

    • CA0311 [they/them]@hexbear.net
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      3 years ago

      i dunno, suddenly there are all these strange large men with robotic behavior and bad vibes insisting on standing right next to your owner all the time, seems like a biting situation.

  • doggle@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    3 years ago

    I would guess that the president’s dog is frequently handled by unfamiliar people in stressful environments. That seems like a bad environment for a German Shepherd.

    • LanyrdSkynrd [comrade/them, any]@hexbear.net
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      All guide dogs for blind people I’ve seen are German Shepards. I don’t think it’s the breed.

      • ElHexo [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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        deleted by creator

        • mayo_cider [he/him]@hexbear.net
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          I’d imagine the president of the united states could afford a professional trainer, this is just neglect

  • PM_ME_YOUR_FOUCAULTS [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.net
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    The average American has 1.5 large, poorly-behaved dogs. This is just another way that Biden is in touch with the electorate

    • Sleve_McDichael [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      Our latest investigation has found that Hunter Biden is often seen walking around DC with an unleashed dog and without poop bags because he says his dog is “really well behaved.” His approval rating has skyrocketed 420% as a result

    • zifnab25 [he/him, any]@hexbear.netBanned
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      Solve the British Bully XL problem and the Biden gross unlovable secret service problem in one go.

    • AvocadoVapelung [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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      That half a large, poorly-behaved dog? Me.

    • Evilsandwichman [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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      1.5 large, poorly-behaved dogs

      Growing up I think I had like…four dogs? God I would’ve been so happy if I could’ve only had half a dog. I hate dogs. I didn’t hate cats until my family started keeping them indoors and they started relieving themselves everywhere cause they got old and suffered dementia. I really hate pets, and I’m beginning to hate people who own pets.

  • determinism2 [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    3 years ago

    Commander Bitin’

    • TomBombadil [he/him, she/her]@hexbear.net
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      3 years ago

      kelly

  • WoofWoof91 [comrade/them]@hexbear.netBanned
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    uncritical support to comrade commander

    • ComradeCmdrPiggy@hexbear.netdeleted by creator
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      deleted by creator

  • conditional_soup@lemm.ee
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    The same secret service that deleted their text messages from a secure server after J6?

    Yeah, that dog isn’t out of control, he just knows the score.

    • Evilsandwichman [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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      I’m surprised Brandon feels safe around his secret service knowing this; then again with his dementia he probably can’t even remember what day J6 took place.

  • Zoift [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    Somebody start gifting Biden dogs. Everytime he makes a visit, give him a dog. Made it thru a speech, give him a dog. Schools should do fundraisers to buy him dogs. Like, shelters-worth of dogs. There needs to be dozens of poorly trained dogs slowly rotting the floorboards with out with piss. A gross of dogs. Please, I need this.

    • CatoPosting [comrade/them, he/him]@hexbear.net
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      3 years ago

      gross

      Gross used to mean 144, but thanks to the worst president all time, it’s now the amount of animals it takes to ruin an interior in <4 years.

  • RyanGosling [none/use name]@hexbear.netBanned
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    3 years ago

    When your bodyguards are loyal to the former president who claims you stole the election and promotes conspiracy theories about you sacrificing babies, the most logical thing to do is to keep them around your residency

    • usernamesaredifficul [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      why do you think the secret service are loyal to trump

      • Red Wizard 🪄@lemmygrad.ml
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        Why would they delete their texts from a secure server after J6?

      • RyanGosling [none/use name]@hexbear.netBanned
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        Biden said it himself that doesn’t trust them lol

  • zifnab25 [he/him, any]@hexbear.netBanned
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    The deep state war between the SS and the Biden kennel club rages on.

    At this point, I’m convinced Biden’s people just hate his security detail and are doing this on purpose.

  • Judge_Jury [comrade/them, he/him]@hexbear.net
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    2023: Commander Biden bites yet another Secret Service hog and gets killed in the commotion. This activates the real Dark Brandon, who uses all available levers to devastate US institutions of policing. The DNC doesn’t say why, but they decide to run Clinton again instead

    2024: President Trump rebuilds US institutions of policing bigly

  • Beaver [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    It would be super funny if judgy suburban voters were sufficiently turned-off by Biden’s bad dogs enough to swing the election.

    • FlakesBongler [they/them]@hexbear.net
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  • mayo_cider [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    Loukaniko’s spirit lives on

    rat-salute

  • BadTakesHaver [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.net
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    that dog is above the law

  • DickFuckarelli [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    o7 o7 o7 Hail to the Commander

    • aaaaaaadjsf [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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      The goodest of boys dog-scrembiden-fall

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