Una Chin Riley, or “Number One” from Star Trek: Strange New Worlds

You never would have guessed, right?

P.S. block-heeled boots are awesome 😎

That’s in the nearest city, a 90 minute commute. And if it’s a weekday, I work noon to 20:00 because of remote work timezone offsets. So in-person means I need to move and also get a new job

You’re having meetups? SMDH someone forgot to give me the calendar invite that was supposed to be packaged with my HRT

As a trans girl who lives in the middle of nowhere: help, I need to be near people and not cows. Mooooooo

Transition is what you make of it. I’m not transmedicalist, and if you tell me you’re trans, then you’re trans. Social transition (clothes, makeup, voice, name, pronouns) is whatever you want to spend on it. Be yourself no matter what!

Medical transition costs depend on where you are, though. In the US, insurance coverage just became a minefield. I had coverage, and now I won’t because of federal government changes to policies. HRT wasn’t expensive but it wasn’t cheap. Doctor visits, blood work, and medications. Estradiol pills are cheap, but then you need a testosterone blocker, which is less so. Injection mono therapy is a little more expensive, but then you don’t need the blocker and it’s a way longer schedule.

Surgeries are a whole different world, though, and I hope others can chime in on that. I am not far along on my journey to have any yet. You may not even need all or any, depending on age, genetics, and your comfort level with your identity. Not everyone is binary, and your self image might “resolve” into clarity further into transition.

You can do it, though. I spoke with a 70 year old woman last week who started in her 60s. She looks and sounds amazing and more importantly she loves herself. All that matters is that you love who you are!

Hey, I’m 40. I’m a trans woman who was in the closet for 11 years, and started HRT in March this year. I will probably never pass, either.

That’s irrelevant. For me, and for you. Be yourself. You have to be you, because otherwise you are eventually going to break under the strain of trying to be someone you aren’t. I almost broke, and I almost stopped existing at all because of it.

Being you doesn’t mean that everyone will accept you. It doesn’t mean you will become a cis-passing stealth supermodel. It doesn’t mean anything gets easier, except maybe for accepting yourself.

You’re not alone, and you absolutely can do this.

I actually used Willow for a few months when I started my transition. I had my reasons, and they were true to me. The name didn’t fit in the end, but I wore willow tree earrings to my court date when I got my current name! She’s part of me, and always will be.

Just change it to [object Object]

So happy for you! 💖

Hail fellow middle-name-is-Elizabeth-haver!

I am no-contact with family and hated my given name, so I didn’t have the option of most of the suggestions here.

I went through a list of names common in my age group and birth area and stripped out the ones I didn’t want for initials. Then I bounced them off my spouse until we got a short list. I asked those who knew I was out to use them, and put them in as my preferred name for appointments.

It turns out all that work was pointless. We had a random night where we were doing something completely unrelated and my spouse said something that I misheard as my new name and it just stuck! Now my legal paperwork is done and I am just waiting for the courts to finish their side of it.

It’s possible that The Satanic Temple could add it to their “rituals” list like they did for abortions, but it’s all irrelevant. This should be illegal already as it discriminates against several protected classes, but here we are. It would take a federal court ruling to block this, but those are also already being ignored right now in other cases.

For anyone (like me) who relies on these plans, look into exceptions if they apply to you, or better yet, look for an alternative plan. I’m not confident that the current political climate is likely to overrule this EO, or that it would even matter if anyone did. Since healthcare in the US is based on annual enrollment periods, it would be prudent to have an alternative lined up.

Thank you for giving me the courage to go be myself. I am sitting in a cafe in a nearby city sipping coffee with my bracelets and earrings, and a transgender pride flag shirt on. It’s frightening! It’s also liberating.

I’m also in my early 40’s. I’d love to just go full-time, but my work situation isn’t giving me the option (yet). Hopefully I can do that soon, but the place where I live is less likely to be welcoming. I also have the safety of my spouse to consider, and I place them above anything else. That’s why I waited so long to even come out in the first place. It’s a tough and lonely situation, sometimes.

I appreciate the well-thought-out and detailed response. It reads like the manual of things I went through learning bit by bit over the 11 years I spent repressed. I’ve been through most of it at this point. The hair’s getting there and my very affirming salon appointment is in a few weeks. My makeup skills aren’t amazing, but I can handle everything but contouring and eyeshadow now. My voice therapist actually discharged me after 3 months because she said I’d exceeded her skillset. I’m not happy with where I am but I pass vocally. I have a decent wardrobe for casual situations that’s strongly femme-presenting and I like my jewelry. I am excellent with manicures. My spouse has commented on how good my nails look, especially since I chewed them raw for 30 years.

All of that to say that I’m comfortable with everything except my face. I’m partway into laser removal, but I am still very blocky and have the worst caveman browline. The widows peak isn’t helping. But my biggest concern is mostly safety. I’m in a rural area full of literal card-carrying MAGA nuts who roll coal. I was already the odd one out with only electric cars in the garage and moving to native plants instead of a lawn, but if I go out as myself I would be putting my spouse in danger. It’s ironically easier to do when I’m further afield from home.

I guess the things I’m really worried about are being myself and finding ways to do that in spaces where I’m not really safe.

My uh, friend, would like to see the “Steal this look” infographic. Please. Please!

You aren’t alone!

Your choice is completely valid and yours to make. I just don’t want people to think it’s either/or in the full and opposite direction. There are options for things like zero-depth or even nullification that don’t require dilation or very much recovery time.

Some girls just have a penis I guess

And some have a vulva without anything under it, or nothing at all!

Trans sister here. This is awful. I absolutely stand behind my trans brothers and things like this bring us ALL down.

P.S. I didn’t find anything in the community details. If you’d rather not have me in here (the line about needing a transmasc community of your own is not lost on me) I’ll delete my replies and be on my way, no hard feelings.