They make Bluetooth keyboards that work with phones. I used to have a slick little one that folded up to the size of a cigarette case.

tURNS OUT YOPU CAN TYPE REALLY FAST IF YOU DONT CORRECRT ANTHYRTHING

Tidying up your house before your crush comes over, call that Sprung Cleaning.

John McCain Spaghetti Head is a great band name

I got so excited

Goddamn that is well done. I can read it in their voices perfectly; I even hear the dice roll in my head.

Death to plastic; embrace glassware tradition.

I second this

People think lizard people are bad because they’re humans mixed with lizard characteristics, but actually they’re bad because they’re lizards mixed with human characteristics 🤢

How is this functionally any different than laying landmines. Although come to think of it, plenty of landmines can actually be disarmed.

“Wooaaaooaohhhw such a genius intelligent deadly clever smart move by the isrealis, wow they are so cool and dangerous and smart, Hezbollah must be completely destroyed now because of the psychological factor of this very intelligent attack, wowww”

Maybe all of the more meaningful forms of satisfaction and joy have been locked behind paywalls or eliminated entirely for the sake of economic efficiency

Sorry, I’ll tell my agents to reboot that part of the simulation

My train is going so fucking slow I just want to get home and get some chores done and play like 30 minutes of video games before I have to go to sleep.

Of course this stupid goddamn city refuses to properly manage or fund the MTA, instead dumping money down the drain to put useless fucking pigs in every station who just look at their phones all day and occasionally light up an entire fucking subway car over a $3 fare and then plant evidence and immediately get caught lying.

So cool. So neat and awesome and cool.

Lol, just heard Chapo covered the same story. For what it’s worth, I have ridden countless times and will ride again countless more with people like the alleged perp, and I would choose them every time over locked and loaded trigger happy psychos who could legally blow me away if I reach for my phone too fast. All in the name of protecting the MTA’s budget by preventing fare evasion. Killing people to protect the budget. They’re not getting those three fucking dollars by the way.

Trigger warning: shit heads

r slash neoliberal asks: How should a liberal society deal with stochastic terrorism?

Answer: it can’t!

Lol, most of the replies are just like “oh, well, there’s really nothing we could do, I guess it just has to happen 🤷‍♂️”

So far I don’t think anyone has suggested that maybe economic burdens are causing the alienation and anxiety that lead people to accepting fascist ideas and eventually committing violence. Cuz, y’know, that would be admitting that the free market is responsible for killing people.

Depression breakfast: leftovers-quesadilla, made from cheese, fried rice, and half of a chopped up burger. Not the worst, but the real news is that my tortilla cooking game is perfect. Just the right amount of oil and heat, and a smidge of butter, and they come out absolutely golden brown every time.

How do I embed gifs I need to do a meme

Turn on debate

Donald Trump is talking about immigrants eating people’s pets

News anchor gives the most limp dick correction I’ve ever heard

Trump just doubles down and says that they’re definitely eating pets

Kamala’s turn, she laughs and goes “wow, talk about extreme!”

I fucking hate this country. We deserve every bad thing coming to us. I hate it so much.

How am I supposed to drink my gin without any limes

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