Don’t forget that baldheaded fuck cut off Shatner saying something profound so he could spew shit out of his own mouth

Let us all Puke Green together

I went camping there but it rained most of the time

This has big “kid who has to be sent to a birthday party with a better present for themselves in addition to one for the birthday kid” energy. If that kid grew up and learned to write this would be in their hand at every child’s birthday party.

It’s not much different from a rape whistle I would guess

I’ve got a bridge to sell. It’s about yay high and goes all the way across. It is colored #9aae07.

He’s probably faking it because he’s mad the chocolate coin she gave him chipped his veneers.

Doesn’t leaving location on drain phone battery at a higher rate?

The medal is going to turn up in 100 years with a lot of tooth marks on it. Not marks from biting gold to see if it is legit. Tooth marks that suggest somebody thought it was full of chocolate.

dmb caused Chicago’s 9/11 by dumping a busload of shit and piss onto a tour boat full of people

Seal did that song next to the Bat-Signal that is about this exact topic

did you know that there’s a direct correlation between the decline of Spirograph and the rise in gang activity? Think about it.

At first glance it says “dripping with excrement” so maybe someone left one of Goofy’s turds in the sun to get bleached.

Pretty straightforward. Take a nasty shit and warm up the shower while you wipe. Alternatively, warm up the shower after realizing you’re out of shit tickets.

Would anyone like to live on the moon for minimum wage and mop wads off the ceilings every day?

That’s pretty wild. With the current administration’s critical thinking power you’d think they would believe Greenland was full of green people.

Contrary to popular belief, Iceland is mostly volcanoes

When I met my SO she had two sister cats. One you could hold like a baby and the other is friendly but didn’t like to be held and fought pretty hard to escape. She said she doesn’t like to be held. Long story short that cat will purr in my arms when there’s milk about to be served because she is a milk hound. Bribery aside I think the cat just doesn’t like when her human is walking around while holding her. Like car sick but for cats I think.