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Lady Butterfly she/her@reddthat.comBanned from community to Microblog Memes@lemmy.worldEnglish · 2 months ago

Oh there's a plan

reddthat.com

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Oh there's a plan

reddthat.com

Lady Butterfly she/her@reddthat.comBanned from community to Microblog Memes@lemmy.worldEnglish · 2 months ago
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  • TheLowestStone@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    I have IBS that is triggered by sugar alcohols. Eating one whole apple gives me awful gas about an hour later followed by 8-12 hours of violent diarrhea the next day.

    So… One apple is enough to everyone away from me.

    • teslekova@sh.itjust.works
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      2 months ago

      On the other hand, if you keep an apple on hand you will never be stuck in the middle of a zero-g space station.

  • Asafum@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    The secret to keep everyone away is not how many apples you eat, but how many entire bulbs of garlic you eat!

    The downside is that it keeps vampires away too. :(

    • diabetic_porcupine@lemmy.worldBanned
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      2 months ago

  • almost1337@lemmy.zip
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    2 months ago

    Eat enough apple seeds and you won’t have to worry about people or their proximity to you ever again.

  • skooma_king@piefed.social
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    2 months ago

    Could simplify the math and just carry around some durian fruit

  • A_Union_of_Kobolds@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    Relevant Community

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vfa8BH0tnnw

    • BEYOUBlåhaj@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      John Oliver jumspscare

  • plutopos@lemmy.zip
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    2 months ago

    Smh, everyone knows each profession is repelled by a different fruit

  • Slovene85@sh.itjust.works
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    2 months ago

    Aura? Is that a new term for explosive diarrhoea?

  • WolfmanEightySix@piefed.social
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    2 months ago

    That’s why an apple keeps the doctor away. But I thought it was one apple.

    • schnurrito@discuss.tchncs.de
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      2 months ago

      Yeah well https://xkcd.com/2161/

  • Simulation6@sopuli.xyz
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    2 months ago

    Do apples fit in a potato cannon?

  • krisevol@lemmus.org
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    2 months ago

    About 200. You will key everyone away for 100’s of yards after the funeral.

  • jdr@lemmy.ml
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    2 months ago

    Drywall? Go to a first world country! There are solid and expensive hospital walls! And other such public amenities!

    • chuckleslord@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      Yes, it’s the material of our walls that’s the problem in American hospitals. You nailed it. Everyone can pack it in, we know what needs fixing now. /s

      BTW, y’all use bricks cause you wiped out all your trees, not cause you’re better than anyone. Paper, sheetrock, and wood are all perfectly acceptable building materials, assuming you haven’t already ripped up all the trees. They’re also quite a bit easier to work with and build, too.

      • Johanno@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        2 months ago

        While I admit that wood is a perfect fine building material building out of stone is just more durable.

        And in the USA they build paper thin houses out of wood, because no high quality standards exist and it is cheap. In Germany even houses out of wood are pretty durable and have higher quality than the average usa house.

  • macaw_dean_settle@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    Why does it have to be Before Christ?

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