Im in the US and live literally across the street from my kids school. He starts kindergarten in August and I told some neighborhood parent friends I was going to just let him walk himself to school while I watched from the stoop sipping coffee. A lot of them were mortified and a few thought the school wouldn’t allow him in without me dropping him off. Wtf

You forgot to say “Only write correct code” in your instructions

apology for poor english

when were you when Japan declared Islamic Republic?

i was sat at home scrolling Lemmy when phone ring

‘We had 11 missiles shot by the Islamic Republic of Japan’

‘no’

I run into 425 Too Early a lot

I’m 40, with a kid, currently on the toilet and I am absolutely destroying it right now. I think I’ve got some kind of stomach bug.

This hit hard 😆

You sound like an asshole, fyi lol

Ftfy

THIS. IS. SPARTA!!

27.5 if you’re drunk

Sort of describes bulimia I guess

That last sentence - yes! 0 degrees outside? No problem, coat. 80 degrees outside? I turn into a fussy baby. At 90 I’m like non functional

My cat when I don’t feed her on time

I’m claustrophobic and have read this account before, just seeing the name “Nutty Putty” makes my heartrate skyrocket

I know right. I’m 39, all 20.

I’ve seen my wife open the mailbox, look at what’s in it, say “Ugh I don’t want to deal with that,” and PUT IT BACK IN THE MAILBOX

(´･ω･`)

I used to yawn incessantly during warmups before rugby matches. My coach would yell at me to get my head into the game. I kept telling him it’s just what happens when I’m warming up it doesn’t mean anything!

Mein Vierjähriger auch

My wife and I refer to this as the “Kitty Claws” of our marriage contract

Oh hell yes, utilize drives me nuts. Its supposed to mean when you find a particularly effective, often different than typical purpose, for usage of something.

I utilize the word utilize as a way to identify people who spit out word jargon to hide their ineptitude

“instead of using toilet paper he wipes his ass with a town that then he stores full of shit on a drawer”

I have a lot of questions about this part