Thanks for hosting! This has been my home since lemm.ee retired and I’ve enjoyed my time here

Could you offer television after he calms down? So he isn’t using it as a crutch and using it as an incentive to find other ways to soothe himself? So if he is upset and asks for tv say something like “I see you’re upset because ____ why don’t we try (going for a walk, taking a drink of water, resting in your bed, coloring a picture, sitting in your favorite chair, etc) when you’re calm we can talk about watching something together?” My four year old uses a lovey to calm down. Since she was six months old she’s had one in her mouth to sleep or to soothe. But we work on other strategies as well and it’s only allowed in her bed now that she’s older. I don’t want it to be her only way to regulate her emotions. She won’t have it all the time so it’s important that she has other things in her toolbox.

Generally very good. It’s been a little harder with a house, 2 dogs, a kid, and a few medical expenses (husband broke his foot twice in 5 years) but I’ve managed to have $15,000 in an emergency fund for us, save short-term for vacations and bigger Christmas purchases for the house, and still get to do/have most of the things that we want. No credit card debt (just house, cars, and student loans). We are also both maxing out our retirements (at least maxing out what our companies will match). I work as a teacher so my salary isn’t great, and while my husband makes more it’s not significantly more.

Society has intertwined gender and sexuality. We’re now in a position that I don’t think we can backpedal from. I’m not even sure it’s from the porn industry. We always group it together (LGBTQ+). Someone’s gender or gender identity has nothing to do with who they’re fucking or who they’re attracted to. But we put everything under one umbrella so you can’t separate someone’s sexuality from their gender identity.

Whenever I feel it all building up and need a release, I will clear an evening and put on a “cry movie”. I just watch something that I know will make the waterworks flow. It’s easier for me to cry about other situations rather than my own (even fictional).

The colors are indicating speed and not heart rate I think. Makes sense that they went faster close to home and slowed down inside the house.

So I grew up homeschooled with a conservative Christian mother. A lot of people I knew got married from the same small group of families, right after high school, and started having kids right after. (I know 2 sisters from one family that married 2 brothers from another). It’s what everyone did. Nobody gave themselves any time to meet new people, just married someone their age and the opposite sex they’d grown up with. Also, nobody had sex or lived with one another prior to getting married so you don’t really know who you’re marrying. But when you’re taught from an early age that people of the “world” are misguided and will never understand you, that’s what you get. I didn’t fall into this, but my brother did.

Somewhere around the 5 month mark or so? I had my baby in May and I remember thinking that I could’ve hidden it when I went home for Christmas if I wanted. I had a bump probably 4 months in, but it wasn’t a noticeable pregnancy bump until around the fifth month

A few thoughts, just going from your post. I would be careful using the word shy. The more you say something, the more she’ll embody it. So even if she reaches a place where she wants to engage she could still feel like she has to be shy because that’s who she’s been told she is. Try to leave the window for engagement open. “This is something new. It can be hard to do new things. Come and join us when you’re ready”

Does she have any friends that she’s comfortable with? Is there someone her own age that could do an activity with her? It can be helpful to have a familiar face inviting her along.

Sometimes kids just need us adults to get out of the way. It might take her a little while to get comfortable, but if you’re right with her she may never get the courage. As long as she’s not distressed, could she sit and watch the class (joining if/when she’s ready) with you out of sight?

Sometimes kids just need a little more time. I wouldn’t judge too much on one day. Are there other activities she would like? A music class? Art class? Dance? Maybe a sensory friendly play group?

I don’t think you need to reward with ice cream for trying. Eventually her joining in and having fun should be its own reward. You guys can get ice cream together for trying something new, but I wouldn’t mention it beforehand.

If she’s really worried about the kids and teachers being mean do you think it’s just normal shyness or a deeper anxiety? You would obviously know her best but if her fears are hurting her social development you may want to bring it up to a medical professional.

So many things. Movies. Tv shows. Watching any live performance (even if it’s not meant to be emotional). Strong emotions that I feel: happiness, sadness, anger, stress. Oddly enough, I’m actually really good and level headed in crisis moments though.

This isn’t exactly what you’re asking but the weirdest experience for me was the way I accepted childbirth like a switch flipped. I was terrified of labor. Of the pain, of the unknown. I was pregnant through the end of 2021 and the beginning of 2022 so Covid protocols were still a thing. I took a virtual birthing class and had to leave early each time because I was crying uncontrollably. I wanted this pregnancy and everything was planned but I was still freaking out. Until one day I wasn’t. I hit a strange point of acceptance where my body and brain was like “this is happening and no matter what it’s going to be ok”. And throughout the rest of pregnancy and all through labor and delivery I wasn’t scared.

I had a close friend that was in prison for a little while and I wrote letters to him. The challenging part for me was by the time I received his reply I didn’t remember what exactly I had sent. I could get the gist from what he replied but it was a different experience from being able to scroll up in a text message thread or email.

I think sending a letter to a friend is a good idea and I hope they enjoy your letter!

I have a preschooler. I love watching her grow and learn. I like sharing in her successes. Ever since she was little when she would do something she was proud of, she would look to us for our smiles and claps. She’s become so much more independent lately: picking out her clothes and getting dressed herself, doing small chores like feeding the dogs and cleaning up her toys, and buckling herself in her car seat. She’s started doing activities/classes/sports on her own so it’s been great to watch her develop her personality without mom or dad being right with her. She started reading in the past few months and I like sitting with her and hearing her read. I like the ridiculous things she says, especially when she doesn’t have the proper vocabulary (like calling ankles “feet-wrists” and saying her “shirt is trying to be a hood” when she couldn’t get it over her head). I like when she wants to sit and cuddle or when she asks me to play with her.

I think usually there’s more crude humor, possibly words like “damn”, “hell”, or “ass”, and it can be a little scarier/darker in PG movies versus G. But I agree that it seems pretty arbitrary and there’s no public list of what’s allowed in each that I’ve been able to find.

We used to do a lot of choices to ease transitions (“do you want to brush your teeth first or get on pajamas”) but currently she’s in a “none of them” phase. Sometimes we can get her with a “special toy to play with when you wake up tomorrow” (or to take in the car or whatever) but a lot of times there’s no winning and we just grit our teeth and trudge through the routine.

We get a lot of “that’s not my favorite” and “I’m not playing with you because you’re not nice to me”.

Outside of the moment she’s really good at expressing everything “I was frustrated when I was all done because I wanted to play more” and we have a good conversation about it. We’re just working on appropriate reactions in the moment.

I definitely snorted at it. Turned away so not sure if she caught it. Usually I get a lot of “I’m not playing with you because you’re being mean to me” when I ask her to do something

My mother would go through my things looking for reasons to get me in trouble. She’d go though my phone. It’s not normal. It’s not okay. Kids are entitled to privacy and all it did was make me better at hiding things, give me anxiety, and develop self-harm habits and an eating disorder.

We’re about 50-50 with the timer. Sometimes she accepts it and sometimes we still get meltdowns. She’s going through a phase of transitions and routines being hard. The last two weeks with the holidays and family visiting and no school haven’t helped.

I have tried so hard to own an orange or a blue car. I owned a blue one for a beautiful four months before somebody rear ended me and totaled it. Since then it’s only been ugly, boring silver.

We did not travel this year. We stayed home with the three year old, had our own Christmas, and a few FaceTime and phone calls. Watched movies and played with new toys. Pretty low key.